Bear Weather Fans

     "Great defensive play along with a few key takeaways propped up a sputtering offense in the midst of a quarterback controversy surrounding a talented-but-maligned starter and a well-known veteran from the bench" he wrote down, here on this game summary and also on the tombstone of the Chicago Bears. This is who we are. We'll be throwing out talented starters with big arms but frustrating decision-making in favor of boring journeymen backups to squander our Super Bowl-caliber defense while Green Bay trots out a seamless stream of Hall-of-Famers every decade and a half until the heat death of the universe. It's like when a soap opera thought they were going to get cancelled, only to get picked up at the last minute, so they have to quickly slap together a script for the season that ends up being all recycled content from previous seasons. This is the equivalent of a clip show episode for a Chicago Bears season. What better way to showcase a season-that-almost-wasn...

Let's see the recipients of the most coveted awards in all of sports, the weekly BWF awards ! These awards are many, nuanced, and violently, sexily prestigious. Some say winning a BWF award should result in seppuku, as there is nothing left to strive for in this life. All we can say for certain are this week's prestigious award winners, starting with— The Akiem Hicks Literal Bear Award Awarded to: Akiem Hicks. He’s so good it’s stupid. Unreal how underrated he’s been for what feels like the better part of a decade, which is like 30 in bear years. God Bless that bear man(?). The Keith Traylor Award For Excellence in a Big Man Truckin’ Awarded to: Charles Leno     Lookit those hands on Leno. Those screen passes he lined up for in 2018 are all making sense now. It was worth flushing the 2019 offense down the toilet just to catch the Giants off-guard on the long con. Also, shoutout to David Montgomery on this play, who had so much confidence in its design that he decided a play a...

 Had you turned the game off at halftime, you would've been forgiven for thinking it was a 30+ point blowout in the Bears' favor. Maybe they pulled Trubisky after the gap hit four scores and threw in Nick Foles for kicks? Hell, maybe they threw in whoever the hell was third-string QB these days. Did anybody buy Matt Barkley a seat to the game? Is David Fales still... Fales-ing? Maybe somebody knock on the door of the nursing home that cares for Todd Collins? Lord knows in 2020 an NFL field is safer than any nursing home. Damn, I need to stop drinking so much during the games if I'm gonna try to write anything cohre;jak Anyways, you'd be forgiven for stone cold soberly tuning off at halftime and thinking the Bears won in a blowout, seeing as the Bears defense shut out the Giants offense, while the Bears offense steamrolled the Giants defense, scoring 17 before the half and slapping them repeatedly with several more near-scores. Instead, inane coaching decisions and the r...